Stress
Pardon my vulgar-ness today.
I AM FUCKING STRESS AND ANGRY.
Now that it is almost the end of the day, I have felt slightly better, but still a tad FUCKING STRESS AND ANGRY.
Alot of things happen today at work. And I cannot blog about it. Just this: "Why would we pay to out-source then have them tell you their problem???"
And my back's damn 'suan'. I've got insomnia again. Lasted 2 weeks already. My foot's not totally healing like it should. NO one knows about how I feel. Everyone just commented that I can 'ren' nonsense from people and can't seem to be sad. Hell... I am feeling so insecured, paranoid and terribly troubled now. I don't know what is wrong with me.
And something stupid has to happen today. I am FREAKING TIRED from this shit. I need a break. And a drink.
Received an sms from a friend last night whom I decided to SMS. HE seems to understand Exactly what I said.
MY SMS: "You were right. Its too Late."
HIs reply? :" There is no right or wrong. Only time can tell of whatever outcome."
Then I felt so bad for disturbing him and donned on me that People might not want to hear about my problems. Suddenly, I felt so lonely. I scrolled through my phone book of 55 names and to none did I react towards. Seems like no one understood me (typical scorpio) and I continued to sink in self-wallow.
What the heck am I still writing for?? I duno. I just felt so angry. I REALLY MUST STAND FOR MY OWN RIGHTS. For now, I'm gonna just blank out my mind for the rest of the night. Had enough of crying.
BTW, don't tell me its Menopause. I am still young. And its not depression cos I don't feel sucidal at all.
I AM FUCKING STRESS AND ANGRY.
Now that it is almost the end of the day, I have felt slightly better, but still a tad FUCKING STRESS AND ANGRY.
Alot of things happen today at work. And I cannot blog about it. Just this: "Why would we pay to out-source then have them tell you their problem???"
And my back's damn 'suan'. I've got insomnia again. Lasted 2 weeks already. My foot's not totally healing like it should. NO one knows about how I feel. Everyone just commented that I can 'ren' nonsense from people and can't seem to be sad. Hell... I am feeling so insecured, paranoid and terribly troubled now. I don't know what is wrong with me.
And something stupid has to happen today. I am FREAKING TIRED from this shit. I need a break. And a drink.
Received an sms from a friend last night whom I decided to SMS. HE seems to understand Exactly what I said.
MY SMS: "You were right. Its too Late."
HIs reply? :" There is no right or wrong. Only time can tell of whatever outcome."
Then I felt so bad for disturbing him and donned on me that People might not want to hear about my problems. Suddenly, I felt so lonely. I scrolled through my phone book of 55 names and to none did I react towards. Seems like no one understood me (typical scorpio) and I continued to sink in self-wallow.
What the heck am I still writing for?? I duno. I just felt so angry. I REALLY MUST STAND FOR MY OWN RIGHTS. For now, I'm gonna just blank out my mind for the rest of the night. Had enough of crying.
BTW, don't tell me its Menopause. I am still young. And its not depression cos I don't feel sucidal at all.
posted by Evo_baby @ 4:03 AM
1 Comments:
At 9:02 AM,
redshorts said…
Hey you not alone.... work is always like that (say is easier)
My workplace too. They outsource installation of system. Then the grp who incharge of this outsource people did not monitor how they install. In the end, most parts are spolit when they start to to a mock test. Always damage on first installation. but no action taken by the grp when I inform them of the problem.
Then now no spare for my parts ( we main job is development, but dunno how verification also us). also my problem. Shipment delay and production need to use. Repair spolit parts but no place to test.
Got initiative to borrow place to test but need to see people face colour. Had told them if they can't lent me the place they can say so. but they want to do good people and give a face when their need to use when they agree to let me use. So double standard.
I also got insomnia before. Did every thing to cover my boss duties when he sick and got family problem. Then when come to review, got a average 3 out of 5. They review not by what you have done but what all Engineers think.
Then my boss say I must dare to send email, more initative. and bosses initative are so double or triple standard.
You give them respect, but they take it for granted. 1 point. Most colleague are selfish. What you did previously to help them, they will not remember. Cannot be so good hearted to help them. Help when they needed and only on what they need help. no extra services.
Last thing:
*Take in deep breathing thru nose, will calm you down.
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